Still Crawling

No, you were never home
Always at your office
I would visit you
You had that inspirational poster of a cocoon
I wanted to believe so badly
That something beautiful arises
From patience
I thought I understood
I still have your old office number memorized

I can’t misread this anymore
I was never enough
You weren’t either
I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry
I just wanted you to tell me
That I'm beautiful

In My Khaki Pants

I built a great time
hyped up and perfect
Started and ended
without any regret
But I was entitled to more
so I undermined it

Had it all planned
Every step tenderly placed
I'm spotless, pure
She's the one to blame

So I press in, throwing rehearsed accusations
There's no way she can dodge them all
and she doesn't even try
She's not as malicious as I hoped
yet I don't stop the barrage
Too proud
Too hurt

Masochistically bent on destroying what I love
I ruin her night
and poison our memories
Her admittance should be a victory
but it feels like defeat

We had something real together
but now it's a twisted game
and forever corrupted