hope

this time it’s different

this time

I have the infinite
security of your arms

falls will

echo how

protected

I am

pressed but safe

when 

I ache

I’ll press deeper

into the embrace

of grace

the exhibition

the certain charm

of looking out windows

on the top floor
during algebra

childhood

bubbles in milk
hats with ear-flaps
and always being
the dance champ

little cues

hey,

someone fix that door

at work

that flings open from the

unmanageable wind.

I guess I’m not doing

well

I guess I might be

angry

grow

I could be

stained with anger

crawling into a comfortable bitterness

into a quilt

hibernating until the heat

of summer

forces me out

but tear me wide open

I will feel the penetrating ache of missing

you

letting time pass slowly

without resentment

without forgetting our dreams:

painted tire swings on every tree of the cemetery

and

eating maple pecan granola in our morning bowls

collaging together with tea, snow falling under streetlights

I will cry most days, maybe

but this, this

this throbbing flow of hope

this rawness creating innocence

a continual newness

is better than being immobilized

frustrated

so grow

within me

light

push out any darkness

I’m yielded

startled

but 

ready

the pulse

light rousing eyes

water swishing

coffee’s dripping

it’s early

but never too early

to take in this breathing world

to exhale thank you 

brand new

missteps

corrected

rags

mended

rip me open

find the light

déjà vu

the weirdest feeling

praying

with a paintbrush

coffee smells

and swirling color