a song

you have always been a song to me
trickling into cracks
filling me
with light

my melody

I am melody

with lows softly rising

to new heights

to life that swells
draw near to hear
my cadence

this beating heart

these clapping hands

my open declarations

of love for you

there is more

today I realized

the frailty

of my body

feelings in flux

hidden sickness hissing through

veins

the

rules to follow

just won’t heal this infirmity

but you broke into me

with words

saying

I love your heart

more than air

more than any tree

I love you more than the sky

I am here

calling out the restless depths in you

that long for more

I am here 

rest.

I am here

with scars that healed

I am here, arms wide

waiting

for you 

for you to return home

my incomplete list of small pleasures

Contagious smiles

Poems read aloud

Polka dot socks

Morning light                       

Breakfast with a good friend

Snow while driving

Leaving others baked goods on the sly

Barefoot traveling

Good handwriting days

Open windows

Coffee on the porch

Rereading an old favorite book

Learning a new word

Beginnings

Bad nicknames

Celebrating with silly party hats

Ridiculous puns

Songs defining time

Old lady stories

no need for penance

You say hit me

But

I want to cry out

To make a cut

To give you a piece of

My heart

To let you feel

That I forgave you

before I entered

the things we want we choose

this is the start of the belief

that I am never

trapped.

open

you held me there

with gentle grace

you taught an angry heart

to open

again and again

I breath in this

life

this embrace has found the 

core of me

sinking, rising

roots sink deeper and deeper

into earth, into dirt

but if I stay there I

deny the undeniable

the truth of the tree rising

towards light

nov. 24

you've penetrated skin

with spoken words

snow falling on my coat

it is too quiet in this house

of mine

it is too loud in this restless mind

but I can sit here

I can rest 

with You.

learning

could

you ever earn

back

balance

my trust?

I seem to stammer though the

yells

now and then

and then dissociate completely

but part of me knows

love is more

love means more

love conquerors more

love pays 

all debt

worship

joy and mutual love—beauty

in our unrehearsed declaration

in our human form and impossibilities

in the very depths drawing out

the fullness

of simple worship

the gun

if I hate you I hate me too

you looked at me with tears in your eyes

I couldn’t even connect with

the fragile and strong alike

on your face

if I hate you I hate me too

and every person because we are all capable of letting anger become a gun that

shatters

the fragile and strong alike

if I hate you I hate me too

I said it with a tremor because I felt deeply

fragile and strong alike

because I just cannot take these

wounds without a fight

today at the deli

Tell me

do you bury 

your regrets

with every

nuance of restoration?
sanding away years

Little one, have you

Seen too much?

The old house

a project

with An End in mind.

your efforts have paved
little lines around your focused eyes

your house needs mending, yes
but I forgot to tell you that

you don't have to

work alone

aren't we all hobbling around
with hurts that need
a heart to burn and a touch to reassure
and a love to heal?

elemental

In the coffee

Like

up to my knees

Spilling stuff and

He is taking

(without my incessant

analyzing all the whys)

such a keen interest in stuff

that hurts so much

And now everything is blurry

Because emotions are sometimes

They. just.

 happen.

and

that

is no simple thing

stars

stare into the clear sky
feeling inadequate in the universe

dance in a parking lot
with a girl i want to kiss

get breakfast at ihop
and laugh about things that are only funny when you're tired

feel the rush
of plummeting down a rollercoaster's hill

feeling inadequate in the universe
with a girl i want to kiss
and laugh about things that are only funny when you're tired
of plummeting down a rollercoaster's hill

stare into the clear sky
dance in the parking lot
get breakfast at ihop
feel the rush

stare into
a girl

get tired
of down

i want
only
the rush

the universe
to kiss
and laugh

and feel

Hope is not Fragile

I am dirt
with breakable bones
and aging skin

I am heart
with aching desires, with blood
and pulsing movement

I am light
with an unspoken Word
bursting life

I am one
with You
and my finite complexities are
complete in eternal love

my expression

i am around only for a short

time to express clearly

and tenderly my love

death

i am choosing a death
of my own plans and
the quiet beauty of it is so humbling

For You

 I love the way

You simplify me

to breath and movement

and desire

For You.