monday

in the kitchen

in the one triangle of light

your smile is infectious

I’m glad we’re dancing

snitching cookie dough together

I’m so delighted that

we are us

the embrace of grace

grace has always been your arms

around me

holding me up

filling gaps

with substance

with love

with you

& every insufficiency
every "not enough"
pulls me only
to the full reality of
you

full & safe
weaknesses pulling me
nearer
what a beautiful heart
you have

oh,
you have always been
& you are
you will always be
enough

my car: a sanctuary

a little time in your

sunlight

& I’m unraveled

I’ll take a little more

my wind, my rain

I want 
it all

& looking up

the difference is

i'm rooted now

and looking up

eternal and open

i have expanded
because of you


green hues and an open field
and all that sky
remembering the life
rushing into
that moment
into me
when you found me
when grace became my song
and love my guide


because of you
i am infinite

snap

the snap of nostalgia
like a rubber band on my wrist
the sting of things forgotten
and found again
through a saved paper
through a faded
note

gather

woolgathering within my wistful filters
memories play out like little movies

the way light moves
the way dust whirls
sitting by the heat vent
waiting for warmth

wind or music
or a touch bring me right back
to a feeling
a time
but
the reality of past is fragile
and is it even true?
or are memories all
gathering cobwebs within
my wistful filters?

just the opposite

"i feel like you are the sun
and i am the tree,"
you said.
but i
think
it is just the opposite.

you expand my heart

this is together
this is now
and I'm caught by
your eyes

crucified with you
ripped open
made grateful
my heart will never be
the same

oh,
the way you love
is extravagant

makes a person whole

I can think of no greater passion

than kindness

gentle words

no-strings-love

giving giving giving

a grace that costs

an unconditional love that

inspires sincerity

fills the gaps

makes a person whole

too willing

you explode

I implode

smoke
that I too willingly
sucked in

words have a way of

filling hollows

jagged edges

you stood there and said
that nothing is a
clean
break
there will always be jagged edges
a tear split
impersonal assessment
as you talked about christmas in
the hospital five years ago
and never even having the chance to say
goodbye

stirring

i.

language chained me

words lacked the proper

blow

frantic screaming in the car

about worth

is it worth it?

ii.

no bitterness for

those who produce a vision

the pain of relationships

the rot of monotony

the harvest is

meaning.
the harvest is
coming.

iii.

beautiful beautiful beautiful

you promised to

come.

your will be done
your will be done
your will be done.

free

i'm not afraid of the shadows anymore
they cannot limit us
because i know the one who makes
all
things
new

listen

I heard you in the tender

moment

of giving when you filled

their hearts with joy

and the fullness of vulnerability

was palpable

with tears and sunlight

beautiful hearts ripped open

and on display

in the parking lot

I grabbed that love

I won’t let go

like david

there was that fear that  coffee

would stain me

into something plain and

that the rags would define

me instead of something slightly more interesting

or beautiful.

it is painful facing

self

I hit the floor

a clang I felt over and over

reverberating humiliation

breakers that pulled me away from

the hand with my name

written in, I imagine,

green ink

it is rain and sun

that grows me

it is presence and

life-light that

expands even my subconscious

self-limitations

like david

I am learning worship

in the field

hemmed in by you
like david
I am fighting the beasts
with the help
of the almighty

feb 7

give me your shadows

give me your all

all I require is

that you show up

when I call