I look out at the light show
Pretending the flicker of red and blue
Is celebrating Independence Day
Instead it’s a drug bust.

the cold, March night doesn’t even hint at summer
and I’m walking, walking
past the police man
crackling leaves undertow
undertones of courage sift by
as I fearlessly make my way towards the woods
wait, not fearless—I’ve got plenty of those
no, just passively going.
this isn’t bravery
simple unrest got me here
compelled by discontent
I run away.

pride is dangerous
i thought it was a good weapon
never got hurt
apathy my shield
because if I don’t care
you can’t hurt me
quite the mix for a good fall

so I’m running
running towards anything that could make me feel
feel anything but this gnawing emptiness
i push past everything familiar
tried it, not working
no, I need something concrete
and there you’re sitting.
in the darkness.
probably a good sign you’re no good.
but hey, I’m here too.
and it’s night.
—a good time to hide

i grab you for my journey
you’re wonderful
just can’t bring you home, is all
see, you see,
they wouldn’t understand
no, they wouldn’t
they’d judge you
but I won’t.
i can see you for you
isn’t that good enough?

but I’m tired
so tired
i don’t know if I can do this
I plop down,
and gently you scoop me up and carry me
i surely got carried away
all this attention
i regain my breath and
i finally realize it’s too dark to see who you are
turns out my night vision sucks

I demand to be let go.
you comply, but tell me to lead
Not leave.
the path splits in two, and I have no idea what to do
finally something I can’t ignore
No, no, no I cannot
I cannot tear wildly through this path I know ends badly.
how did I even get here?

well I didn’t take either path
i stopped there, then ran from THAT too
i’m lost
lonely dark woods
echo my cheap cries
cries for new scenery
left you back there (back where?)
left my way out, too

Falling, I cry for morning

But often light
Feels a lot like the law.
Sure, there’s freedom there
Right? I thought so?